Gratitude
Why was I saved? God has given me a beautiful gift. Yes, I may have gone through hell, but it was in those deepest and darkest moments that I learned so much about myself, others, faith, life, and love. I gained so much from those moments and yet I have succumbed to this life where I spend almost every moment complaining about the trivial day-to-day tasks, pains, and emotions. How could I so easily forget that each day I am given is such a gift? He didn’t need to give me the strength to rise back up, but I looked to Him for strength when I hadn’t any left, and strength He granted me. And is this how I repay Him—threatening to wrap up my life and burn it to pieces?
I have so much love in my heart, so many emotions, and so much creativity bursting at the seems. But I struggle with the motions. So Lord I am looking toward you to help me move. Move me down your path and guide me toward your light. Lately I have chosen to live in the darkness, and I still do not know why. But you have given me the beautiful gift of life. You gave me the gift of knowledge and insight. Through you I have come to realizations that many do not come to in a single lifetime.
Help me to live each day consciously and in the present moment. Help me to be thankful for the shell you have blessed me with—the shell that veils my soul, for I am not nearly as grateful for it as I should be. I have been shaped by you, and for that I love all of me—my assets, my faults; my strengths, and my weaknesses—for I love You and it is You who has shaped me.
Although I will never be certain why it was me you chose to save or why it was others that entered your Kingdom before I, I am choosing to believe that I am still here because you have more work for me to accomplish. So Lord, let me be your hands and feet, let me be an anchor for those who need a strong hold, let me be the courage when others find themselves in despair. I can withhold this life and the tides that flow in and out of my heavy soul, for You have shone me the light, and with your light in sight, I can never lose my way.
Thank you for Loving me and giving me life. Thank you for saving me.
Boy, did I relate to your post. I’ve been in much darkness lately. I had to remind myself (just today, in fact), that the difficulties are delivered by the loving hand of God.